The holidays can be a wonderful time - filled with joy, friends and families.  They can also be a time of stress.  The ideals of the season are easily lost in the hustle and bustle of preparation with shopping, wrapping, cooking and decorating.  Although children don’t have the adult pressures of the season, they can experience stress for a variety of reasons.

Children can experience stress because they are over-stimulated in anticipation of gift-receiving. Holiday stress in children can be complicated by divorce, separation, or remarriage. It can also be heightened because holidays bring family members together who may not like each other. At the other end of the spectrum, the absence of a parent, sibling, or close relative due to death or even active military service can also be upsetting. These situations can make children long for the time when their family was all together or just more settled. Children can also experience second-hand stress from adults during the fast-paced holiday season.

Here are some tips to help your child cope with stress this holiday season:

• Discuss holiday plans well in advance and try to include your child in them as much as possible.
• Be honest. Do not promise things that you have no control over, such as a distant parent or relative being a part of holiday festivities.
• Uphold and maintain family traditions, in light of any differences from previous years. These traditions have a grounding effect on children that reduces their uncertainty and relieves stress.
• Take some of the hype out the holidays by talking about their true meaning. Also, try to stick to your normal schedule as much as possible and devote some time to non-holiday related activities.
• Limit the amount of time families have to spend together, especially when people don’t get along. Perhaps plan a meal together instead of a whole weekend.
• Try to limit gift “wish lists.” Encourage community service activities such as helping out at a soup kitchen or giving gifts to those less fortunate.
• As the adult, take steps to keep your own stress at a minimum.

“It is important for parents to create a balance between holiday activities and regular daily routines, so that their children can participate in the specialness of the holidays without getting over-stimulated, over-tired or even anxious from too frenetic a pace,” said Ellie Shafer, MSW from the Child Guidance Center of Southern Connecticut. “Realistic expectations and moderation will help the whole family enjoy this season."